anonymoustypewriter:
1) He called him cute. Twice.
2) He turned him into a gold statue when everybody else got turned to stone
3) He carried around his golden Ford statue and had it sit next to him on his throne because even if he turned down his totally boss offer to join his crew he wasn’t going to let him miss his party like what that’s rude
4) He offered him a chance to join his crew and when that didn’t work the first time he decided to just straight up offer him a fucking equal status godhood
5) Instead of trying to find his own way to get out of Gravity Falls (like, he totally gave Ford the plans to build the portal he’s not stupid he could have probably worked it out if he tried) he just jumped at the first chance to get Ford out of his gold wrapper
6) Instead of like, capturing Ford’s family right away to torture or physically hurting Ford or anything even slightly evil (other than being disconcerting with his human skin couch but I mean that’s just Bill) he just takes him to the penthouse, serenades him, offers him wine and then reveals his tragic backstory (kinda) and like OMFG BILL CONTAIN YOUR THIRST ARE YOU EVEN TRYING
7) When aforementioned serenading fails, immediately puts him into glowy chains like the KINKY MOTHERFUCKER HE IS
8) Even after all the fighting and threatening of family members happens and he forces “Ford” to let him into his mind the first thing he does is compliment how clean it is like goddamn it Bill contain yourself that’s not even Ford’s mind you moron calm down you’re too excited to be back there to actually look at it properly aren’t you goddamn it
9) FUCKING BILL HAS HIS FACE ALL OVER THAT SHACK YOU KNOW HE’S BEEN PEEPING AT FORD SINCE HE SUMMONED HIM WAKE UP PEOPLE AND SMELL THE GAY TRIANGLE
anyway I wrote a short fanfic http://archiveofourown.org/works/6393388