spudsexuall:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

thepresidentofhyperion:

In times when I think that my obsession over crush is getting out of hand I just look at my pal Hideo

moringmark:

spatziline:

@moringmark I JUST COULDN’T RESIST

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! I love it c:

toddnet:

i really wanna know how widowmaker’s ult transfers to everyone in her team. like how can you explain this in a sensible way. is she just hysterically screaming the position of everyone in the enemy team for 15 seconds and then going back to being quiet and mysterious

fifty-shadesofgay:

hedgehog-with-a-bl0g:

“It’s their job to do that. You don’t have to say thank you”

can we please have more aggressively polite memes in the world???

radiocga:

radiocga:

Young soldiers being best buds

The best part about this is that I have a couple of people who tagged this #Captain America and #Marvel

sharktunarts:

starryamber:

I don’t think there’s anything I could possibly add to this to make it funnier.

pearl-likes-pi:

estufar:

so i’d been watching this playlist of stronger than you in various languages and noticed the voice actors for pearl all seemed to do the oooOOooO part differently so i kind of made this

IM SCREAMING

squid-sisters:

crunch crunch munch munch

fanficdiddlydoo:

Wake up guys

keelahsomethigh:

when its cold af and u gotta wear a blanket around the house

kisu-no-hi:

secret-soup:

kisu-no-hi:

People seem so terribly disturbed that Nick Wilde is 32 and I can’t help thinking “Ah these people must be pretty young to think 32 is old or even a problem” 

This “you’re old and wise at 30″ goes hand in hand with the legend that “you’ve figured your whole life out at 25″ lmao

Believe me, 30 is like 20, you just experienced more life bullshit lmao 

i am literally 32 and can confirm

I need to share your tags

#nicholas wilde is 32 and doesnt have his shit together
#finally a relatable disney hero.