phoneus:

phoneus:

toast-potent:

phoneus:

phoneus:

a Russian tailor guilted me into eating this inexplicably lobster themed candy named, simply, CRABS. after that she handed me a pear flavored candy with a scary little face on it. I peeled off the wrapper but the face part of it stuck onto the actual candy and wouldn’t allow itself to be ripped off but I was too nervous to not put it in my mouth. I discreetly spat it out into a napkin later and was horrified to discover the face was gone and now is inside of me

Also that’s not tablecloth it’s sweatpants material I didn’t have a surface so I flexed my inner thigh and quickly took pictures

you didn’t give the most important detail. what did it taste like?

I….

….I don’t remember.