Aries "The word please doesn't make me any money, kid."

Taurus "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"

Gemini "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!"

Cancer "Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face."

Leo "You see, it's, it's funny because marriage is terrible!"

Virgo "Yes, YES! Burn the child!"

Libra "I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule."

Scorpio "Wash off the shame, Stan. Wash off the shame."

Sagittarius "Would it be wrong to punch a child?"

Capricorn "Well! I learned nothing."

Aquarius "Darn beautiful men! Always eating out of my trash."

Pisces "Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored!"