waluwadjet replied to your post: waluwadjet replied to…
kind of unrelated but dork is 100% the word to use with hawke, esp since it’s an in-joke with my friends that he’s totally a farm boy and everyone thinks he’s joking when they ask him what he did before II and he starts explaining crop rotation
NO SHIT! I HEADCANON HIM AS FARM BOY TOO!!
I mean how a mage can get these?
fucking chopping firewood
PIG WRASSLIN CHAMP OF LOTHERING
and everyone thinks he’s joking when he’s like “yeah we grew soybeans it was gonna be corn next year but then the blight and all”
then one day they mention it around carver and carver’s like “yeah he named all the cows” “you bet I did” “I bet the darkspawn ate them, they probably saved Bo for last” and hawke gets honestly upset “YOU TAKE THAT BACK I SWEAR TO THE MAKER I WILL FIGHT YOU RIGHT FUCKING HERE CARVER SO HELP ME” and there’s this sudden mass-realization of “oh maker he wasn’t joking”
and hawke spends the rest of the time sharing “facts” about farming and only half of them are true and half of them are 100% bullshit and no one can figure out which is which
"now before you milk a cow you have to massage around the shoulder blades you can’t just go straight for the udder if she’s all tensed up or you get kicked"
"then you have to tell her she’s pretty. it’s just polite"
"one time i shut carver in the hen-coop and no one found him for an entire day"
"did you know turkeys can reproduce asexually? just walk out one day and there’s three more than there were the day before. like mushrooms"
"goats are assholes don’t trust them I was stuck in that tree for four hours before he finally left"
HEADCANON AMPLIFIED!!!!!